PENIS V PENIS

Every penis is different. It is unique to that individual, almost like a fingerprint, or a social security number. No one else has a penis like yours. It is one of a kind. You know your penis intimately. You shake hands with it every day, you know all it's secrets, it's likes and dislikes... what makes it excited - and what doesn't. You are old pals. You have fun together. You are a social creature - and so is your penis. Your penis will react to the sight of a pretty girl (or boy) much as you do. Whereas your heartbeat may quicken, your adrenalin levels may increase, and there is a likelihood that you may begin to dribble from the side of your mouth, your penis will become engorged with blood and stand to attention, ready for action. It may also dribble, but this is in now way as offensive as dribbling from ones mouth in a public place.

Your penis is the difference between feeling great about yourself - and feeling not so great about yourself. In my experience, men with a small penis have a tendency to be far more introvert than men with a larger, or average sized penis. Men with a small penis will use a cubicle. Larger hung men will use a stall - and stand well back so his massive penis is in full view of startled and envious onlookers. A small man will slink unobtrusively out of the gentleman's toilet, whereas a large man will often emerge either re-adjusting his penis, or scratching his scrotum - both of which are a good indication that this man has a penis to be proud of.

A man with a large penis will be an extrovert, an exhibitionist, confident and assured in his attitude towards the female (or male) of the species. He will, like a peacock preen himself and display himself to his best advantage, often wearing clothing that enhances the outline of his manhood, to the extent that his movements are restricted, and blood supply is constricted between his crotch and the length of his zipper.

On the other hand, an under-endowed male will prefer to disguise his contentious bone by choosing apparel that is loose, baggy, or out-sized. He will be the proverbial ostrich, burying his head in the sand in the misconception that he will not be seen to be lacking in the bedroom department, whilst maintaining a certain awareness that size is of no importance and that he can grow bigger, whereas a well-hung male can only grow too big.

Whereas a monumental phallus may be pleasurable from an aesthetic viewpoint, to most females (and some males) the thought of this monstrous appendage entering any willing orifice without the administration of local anaesthesia, is quite horrifying.

Aesthetically, a smaller or average-sized phallus, is not so pleasing to the eye, but can be used in any willing orifice without the administration of local anaesthetic.

Personally, I do not like walking around in two halves. It is uncomfortable, and does not look very nice. I have a phobia about needles, and the prospect of my vagina being stretched to fit around the Hubble Telescope does absolutely zero for my libido. I do not like my airway being blocked, nor do I find a dislocated jaw or a prolapsed sphincter particularly enjoyable either.

I therefore rest my case.